Tuesday, February 27, 2007


I have always had a bigger census than others at work. It was originally part of my so called job description. I now how almost an eighth of the entire census site wide. There are about 10 nurses. I should not have that many patients. The documentation is killing me alone!

I am in a tight spot. I love someone. Isn't that great? This person doesn't know what they want. That sucks. What to do, what to do. Patience is a virtue right?

Well, we shall see. Off to more and more laundry, mountains of documentation, making dinner and wonderful, fantabulous children.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Chocolate and Keyboards

I had to go to the store to get a birthday gift for a friends of my daughters. She wanted to get him some chocolate. While in the chocolate aisle, I noticed some Lindt Lindor Truffles. Now, I must say this, someone other than myself got me totally hooked on these chocolates. There are several different kinds. I bought the balls and the squares. In fact, I am sitting her eating the squares right now. My keyboard likes the chocolate too! Hence the name!

I was talking to this gentleman who is over 80 years old. He lives in a nursing home. He has been watching the Anna Nicole drama on t.v. He states "My God that girl did have some knockers!" He is so funny!

I really want to soak in a hot bath tonight. I want to lay back and read a good book. I am not sure that I have in my possession a book I have not read. We shall see!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

For those who chastise

I have not had a chance to update my blog. It appears to have upset the balance of the universe. For this I sincerely apologize. To right what is wrong and fix what was broken, my update follows:

I have been back at work for two days. I was informed yesterday that I was indeed on call due to a switch that was made on my behalf. Being on call is very difficult for me at times. I have children issues. I have to find childcare for them when I am expecting to be out all night or at least have the potential to be out all night. My grandmother graciously kept my kids. Good thing too, I was home and not on call for a total number of 4 hours out of 15. Not to mention I had worked the entire day. That means that I was actually working for about 20 hours. I don't know how people do that on a continuous basis. It wiped me out! I have circles of death under my eyes. Did I mention I would know what the circles of death look like? Guess not huh?

Today was just as bad as yesterday. Seems I am in high demand at work. Several people wanted to talk to me. I only had about 6 hours to talk with them too. I am only one person. I wonder when they are going to allow clones and I also wonder if the clones will know all I do and if the clones will do what I would do in any given situation. If not, they are totally not worth it at all. I want two or three of me. I need someone to do the laundry, cook, clean and the like. I want to be able to see patients and have a clone do the documentation. Doesn't that sound divine?

I am sitting here at home and just trying to keep my eyes open and my fingers on the right keys. I hope this is totally satisfactory to those individuals who were chastising this here person.

Good luck and good night my fellow readers of the blog.

Monday, February 19, 2007

End of the Road

I am finally home. I have been in the mountains and now I have a mountain of laundry to do. We have clothes coming out the wazoo that need to be cleaned, folded and put away. I did not get into home territory until last night/this morning at 4 am. Children are tired, mom is tired and we are all cranky! They are fighting yet again! Is it legal to beat children when necessary?

I traveled over 2500 miles in the last 7 days. My car shows. My kids were fabulous for most of the trip. We drove in snow, ice and strong winds. It just goes to show, Texas makes roads that are great, the other states are sorely lacking.

I am whooped! I am bone, dog tired. I will be making a deal with the devil to get my house, clothes and kids cleaned.

Toodles and good luck!

Friday, February 16, 2007

Traveling and family

So, I am in Manti, Utah. My baby brother is getting married. I am not looking forward to the drive home. I am currently over 1200 miles from where I live. Snow and ice await me in the drive home. My keys have to be picked up in Clovis, New Mexico where my father left them. My car is filthy, my back is hurting, my kids are crabby. I love my brother. I really do. I am happy he is getting married and all. I even like his bride. I just didn't want to come to the edge of civilization to see him wed. UGH!

I am going to bed, need more sleep. Tomorrow is the big day. I suppose I should say, today is the big day. Fun, fun, fun! Did I mention the temperature is cold? Ha Ha Ha!

Going to the chapel to see my brother get married.

Monday, February 12, 2007


I am truly pathetic. I started my day with severe back pain. I took my medicine on an empty stomach and then drove to work. My usual seat was taken by a spot pirate. I had to sit way up front in the am meeting. I started to feel sick. I got up to leave and there went my lack of breakfast all over the office floor. Wanna know how to get a bunch of nurses hopping? Hurl around them. My back was still killing me. My boss sent me home.

I went to the chiropractor. He jumped on me. Told me my hips were out of line and my spine was curved. Whoo Hoo! Just what I wanted to hear. I have to see him tomorrow and my back is still killing me! Did I mention I have to pack for a road trip to Colorado? Well my life is crazy!

I have the most amazing person in my life. He takes real good care of me. He makes me smile and caters to my whims. ;)

Off to the doctor at 5:30 tonight!

Give me good drugs!

Sunday, February 11, 2007


I woke up to screaming kids this morning. My son was trying to help my little one change clothes. She still has accidents at night. My oldest was screaming at him to turn off the light. It was WAY too early for any of them to be up and about so I made them go back to bed. Aren't I a mean one?

I always wash my sheets in hot, hot water. I think it is best to do so. Specifically my kid's sheets. That way they get really clean. Why do they make bunk beds mattresses the way they do? Changing his sheets is an ordeal. I hate it!!!

My kids are doing more around the house. They are folding clothes, doing the dishes, cleaning floors. I love it!

I think I have ended a relationship, at least the romantic part. I really don't know. I am confused and troubled over it. I am so open about my feelings, this scares me. I care about this person, don't want to hurt. Time will tell!

Friday, February 9, 2007


I feel like crying. I think I just might. I have had the worst day in recent memory. I need some tissue. My nose is running and my eyes are watering. Poor pathetic me.


I received the most disturbing news today. It was something I had to share with a couple of other people. I was in complete shock and didn't even want to deal with it. I am upset, angry and downright pissy about the whole thing. I cannot believe this news was in reference to me.

I talked with my friend today. I made him fret. I wish I had not made him worry so, situations out of my control. He is a great guy, nay wonderful. I enjoy spending time with him. He can always make me smile and laugh. I did neither of these things today. I don't know what has transpired, but I believe we are at an impasse. What to do, what to do.

I came home and ate chocolate. I love chocolate. It always makes me feel better. I have started a new medication and hope I don't get sick from it. I have a very weak stomach. Isn't that odd? Weak stomach. What does that mean? Wondering.

Apologies are not enough. I cannot seem to make things right. I want to, just don't know how. I wonder if it will all work out? Will I cry over this any more? Will I be hurt in the short term? Will I hurt in the long run? These are questions I must ponder. Ponder I will.

Thursday, February 8, 2007

looking like something

I got up this morning and decided to wear regular clothes. I actually put some time and effort into my appearance. I put on make-up and straightened my hair. Now I must say, my beauty routine lasts all of about 10 minutes. I wish I could say I am just that good! But alas, I have done pretty much the same things for about 20 years.

Well, I get to work and almost everyone I come into contact with states how good I look. Like they are surprised! I go away thinking..........God, I must look like shit every other day of my life. Isn't that sad? Wow! If this is the reaction I get when I put 10 minutes into my morning routine, then imagine if I put 20 minutes into it! Get ready world, I am your next supermodel. Supermodel Sleepynae hits the runway. Everyone oohs and aaaaahs. LOL

My grandmother turned 77 this year. Imagine living 77 years. She is healthy as a horse. My mother on the other hand has brain cancer. The kind you don't get better from. She has had it for the last two years. It must really blow being the mother and potentially losing your daughter and not being able to do a damn thing about it. Two years ago my only concern was purely selfish. I wanted my children to know my mother and I didn't want to lose her. My kids are the oldest grandchildren. My older two will always remember her, my youngest probably will not. I will always, always tell them about my mother. She is a true example of a great human being. I love her! She is one of my best friends, if not the best. She makes me laugh and cry at the same time. Who else could do that?

Laundry sucks! I hate laundry. I have way too much to do all the time. Basically I wash the clothes and my kids have to fold and put away. They are also responsible for gathering all dirty clothes and bringing them to me. Kids are the most expensive kind of workers!

Gotta change the clothes around!


Wednesday, February 7, 2007

pizza and naps

I started out the day like any other Wednesday. We have a morning meeting Monday's, Wednesday's and Friday's. I was at the office. We had previously decided to eat breakfast this day. I got a phone call stating my presence was needed at my patients side. My patient had just passed away. Did I mention I am a hospice nurse? Well, FYI. It was a pretty good death call, as they go. The family was present for the last breath and was happy with all the care she had received and all. The thing about death calls is this, they take up a lot of time. Not that I am complaining. I enjoy, no love what I do. Just fact is, they tend to be long. Needless to say, breakfast was out of the question.

Round about 11:00 hit. My stomach was now thinking my head had been cut off and no nourishment was gonna make it to my stomach. It started to rumble and grumble and make all manner of loud noises. Enough so, my dementia patient noticed and said I should go get something to eat. So we decided on Double Dave's Pizza.

We got there about 11:20 or so. We always eat early. They have pretty good pizza there. I must say, the company was better though. There is a group of co workers that I always eat with. We talk about the mundane, dramatized and downright insane things we each go through everyday. I love these women. I know they will support any crazy thing I say or do. I can, and do tell them everything. Well, most everything.

I got back to work after eating and talking. About an hour goes by and I start to yawn. Really big yawns. I cannot keep my eyes open. I think to myself, "self, did we get enough sleep last night?" I think I did. It must be the pizza. I don't know what they put in their pizza but I need some everyday before I go to bed. The stuff downright put me to sleep. Now, I didn't actually catch any zzzzzzz's. But I was trying hard not too. I was so yawny! Made the afternoon drag out for me. I talked to one of the ladies I eat with and she had the same problem. WOW! That is the secret to Double Dave's Pizza! Whooo Hooo! Now I know and so do you!

Gonna go and soak, take a hot, hot, hot bath. I want to get out totally red! Love those kinds of things.

See ya on the pruney side!

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Just a thought about my day! Still singing, still happy. I even went to the grocery store with three kids! WOW! Hormones are amazing!

Sunny days

I was working today. The weather outside was so beautiful. There was a nice brisk breeze. The sun was shining. Birds were singing. Skies were blue and clouds were white. Why was I indoors? Because. I work. I work because I love what I do. Say it with me, "I love what I do." I am one of those rare people who actually enjoy working. I don't always enjoy working, don't get me wrong. I just am very happy with what I am doing. I make a difference. I am good at what I do. I rock!!

I was able to talk to a dear friend of mine today. He is funny, hilarious. He had something on his mind. I am not privy to that something. He chose not to divulge. Now, I am one nosy person. I love to question the heck out of something. I need to know everything. I just do, don't ask. I was one of those annoying kids who always asked the question, "why?" "But how come?" I know now I am paying for that as a kid. Curious people amuse me. I amuse myself. What a strange concept.

I must depart! Toodaloo! Isn't that just beautiful? Gotta love mother nature in all her glory!

Sleeping, snoring and the like

I woke up this morning with a new lease on life. I was able to get some really good and quite frankly needed zzzzzzz's. I have placed my hormone patch back on. I figured out what got me into the funk. I was able to discuss such matters with a very good friend who I value. Seems to me, maybe I need some time to myself. The matter is, I am a single mom who works and feel really guilty spending time without my kids. However, two very important people in my life have both passed on the same words of wisdom. So, I need time to myself. Doing whatever my sick and twisted mind can come up with.

I have also come this realization. I am not going to apologize or feel bad for ranting. I need the release. If I happen to be in a funk, as long as I am not taking it out on my loved ones, then I can rant and rave and be funky! So there! (tongue sticking out and everything) I want to be childish at times and that is ok. It is great what a full night of sleep will do for a person isn't it?

I am at work, supposed to be working but had to convey my thoughts. I feel so much better this morning than I have in a long time. I just have to find out what it is that I want out of life and make it happen. There are things I want to do, can't do some of them with my kids. That is ok with me, just have to find the time to do them.

Bottom line is....................time for me to rebuild or replenish my stores!

Hope springs eternal and my garden is sprouting.

Monday, February 5, 2007

Cars, Trucks and Men

I have done some really stupid things in the past. I have co-signed on truck notes, I even bought a stupid truck for a very stupid man. What is it about me that men take advantage of? I must have a sign on my forehead that reads: ALL DEAD BEAT MEN APPLY. HAVE A JOB? NEED NOT APPLY. It is really hard to find a good decent man out there. Even when you think you do, they do something entirely stupid. Men must be hardwired wrong. I know I have made huge, GARGANTUAN mistakes in the past. I have not always been a good little girl. But damn! What the hell? Am I destined to a life of making sure my mate is happy and has everything he needs? What about me?

I am tired. I have not slept good in the last few nights. I actually took a nap on Sunday, but even then it was very fitful. I am not sure what I am doing. I don't even know where I am going in life. The sad part about this is..........I am raising three kids by myself. If I don't know where I am going, is there any hope for my children? I wonder if it is true, the old adage. The sins of the father/mother are visited upon the children? God help my kids!

I am sure someone who reads this will have tons of questions for me. LOADS! I am feeling very surly right now. I want to pick the largest fight in the history of men and women. I don't flipping care anymore. (I really do, just don't want to admit it tonight). Why is it that someone can be so totally honest and open it backfires? Is there something as too honest? Can someone be too honest? What is honesty really? Is it telling every little thing? Or just the important things? What would one want to know? Deepest, darkest feelings and secrets? Why does one want to know deep secrets? Some secrets I have already forgotten about, some don't matter anymore. Some matter way too much. UGH! Life really sucks right now. I am done playing the adult, I want to go back to preschool when all I had to worry about was who was gonna sit next to me and how long I could take a nap. Being an adult blows!

Tonight, as I get some sleep this will all come back on me and I will regret what I have said. Isn't that sad? What a sad, sick existence where I feel like I have to apologize for feeling crappy and well, witchy!


Saturday, February 3, 2007

Mucking, mucking, I hate mucking

I am almost done! Whoo hooo! It was really bad. During the week, I am too busy to do much of anything but a load of laundry and the dishes. Some people say, "you should have a chore chart for your kids and make them do all the housework." I agree on some points. My kids do have chores, getting them to do it is the fundamental issue here. Hope springs eternal right?

I washed my bathmats, they are cotton. I lost the string that ties the lid cover inside. I cannot find a safety pin to feed it back through. Alas, I will not have a lid cover for a while. Oh well. Y'all don't be offended, k? My bathmats are black. They pick up all kinds of dirt. I love them!!!

I have swept, mopped, scrubbed, washed and thrown out tons, no loads of junk! It is no wonder how my house gets so gross in just a week. Something I am anal about is bathrooms. They have to be cleaned at least twice a week if not more. I only have one male living in the house--my son. You would think they would be cleaner. Gross!

I am tired and filthy. It is time for some pampering for myself. Off to the salon. Adieu, good day, have fun! :)

Mucking or at least I should be

I have to admit something quite important. I am a closet procrastinator. If something can be put off until the last possible minute, I will put it off. I cannot continue to do this. I must be more effective and proficient in my life. Life is too short and fun to be bogged down with the mundane. Although a necessity, the mundane is just that........mundane.

I have music running through my head right at this moment. "Because of you" Kelly Clarkson. Don't know why, just do. I tend to sing at the top of my lungs in private, ie: the comfort of my car, lying in bed, sometimes in the shower. I also dance. All the time. Just for the record, I didn't say well. I just dance.

I must tell all would be readers I sit here and type, these are the thoughts running through my head. If I reread what I wrote, it doesn't always make sense. I am not altogether sure my life makes sense anyway. I have children, a full time job, a relationship that requires work, a sick parent, a sicker grandparent, loads of friends. Life is not a race but a long meandering journey.

Have a great time deciphering this. I will gladly answer any questions. Enjoy!

Friday, February 2, 2007


A friend told me I needed a blog. So, what the heck? Here are the my random thoughts. I went to work today, tired out from late night bizarre phone calls. I needed to get some records into the computer. I hate documentation. Although a necessary evil, I hate it! I spent the entire morning sitting at my desk instead of visiting with the people who need me. Once done, I ate lunch at a local restaurant with one my best friends. We had a waiter who resembled Bruce Vilanch. He was this interesting mix of little kid and large smile. He had a trainee following him, I was wishing that maybe the trainee would rub off good looks on him and he would get some intelligence. Don't you hate pretty people whose elevators do not go all the way to the top floor? It is downright aggravating. It was finally then that I was able to get to work. random thought--damn I am cold!! I have trains of thought. Just so y'all reading this understand. They are short and derail often. Overall I had a relatively productive day. I was able to see someone who I had missed seeing for a while. He always perks me up. Tomorrow I have to muck out my house. Don't look forward to that at all! Wish me luck! BTW--whatever did we do before spell check?