Cars, Trucks and Men

I have done some really stupid things in the past. I have co-signed on truck notes, I even bought a stupid truck for a very stupid man. What is it about me that men take advantage of? I must have a sign on my forehead that reads: ALL DEAD BEAT MEN APPLY. HAVE A JOB? NEED NOT APPLY. It is really hard to find a good decent man out there. Even when you think you do, they do something entirely stupid. Men must be hardwired wrong. I know I have made huge, GARGANTUAN mistakes in the past. I have not always been a good little girl. But damn! What the hell? Am I destined to a life of making sure my mate is happy and has everything he needs? What about me?

I am tired. I have not slept good in the last few nights. I actually took a nap on Sunday, but even then it was very fitful. I am not sure what I am doing. I don't even know where I am going in life. The sad part about this is..........I am raising three kids by myself. If I don't know where I am going, is there any hope for my children? I wonder if it is true, the old adage. The sins of the father/mother are visited upon the children? God help my kids!

I am sure someone who reads this will have tons of questions for me. LOADS! I am feeling very surly right now. I want to pick the largest fight in the history of men and women. I don't flipping care anymore. (I really do, just don't want to admit it tonight). Why is it that someone can be so totally honest and open it backfires? Is there something as too honest? Can someone be too honest? What is honesty really? Is it telling every little thing? Or just the important things? What would one want to know? Deepest, darkest feelings and secrets? Why does one want to know deep secrets? Some secrets I have already forgotten about, some don't matter anymore. Some matter way too much. UGH! Life really sucks right now. I am done playing the adult, I want to go back to preschool when all I had to worry about was who was gonna sit next to me and how long I could take a nap. Being an adult blows!

Tonight, as I get some sleep this will all come back on me and I will regret what I have said. Isn't that sad? What a sad, sick existence where I feel like I have to apologize for feeling crappy and well, witchy!

Toodles!